I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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