I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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