he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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