there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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