bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
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Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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