You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize