I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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