If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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