I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize