You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize