So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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