When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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