This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
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They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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