You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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