i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
thus making me awesome and them whores
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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