I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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