Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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