White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize