If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize