I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Randomize