How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is Oprah even human
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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