The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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