my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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