Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize