he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
this will be a night to untag.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize