Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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