If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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