The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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