...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize