Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
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Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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