My room smells like vodka and shame
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
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