i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize