She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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