But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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