wanna go halves on a baby?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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