Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.

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  (310): my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis. http://tfl.nu/isfk
  Replies (18) Good night (1060) Bad night (3096) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important

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  (780): Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important http://tfl.nu/ydfw
  Replies (19) Good night (2421) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.

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  (206): I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days. http://tfl.nu/extb
  Replies (18) Good night (4770) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.

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  (231): i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister. http://tfl.nu/u6ro
  Replies (20) Good night (919) Bad night (4647) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...

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  (517): Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions... http://tfl.nu/wg6s
  Replies (41) Good night (8015) Bad night (1183) Order T-Shirt
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants

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  (807): he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants http://tfl.nu/ed98
  Replies (12) Good night (1654) Bad night (5566) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.

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  (917): and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower. http://tfl.nu/wwsw
  Replies (9) Good night (2529) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.

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  (360): He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish. http://tfl.nu/ae8m
  Replies (11) Good night (3021) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
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  (325): View more from Texas

  3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!

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  (325): 3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches! http://tfl.nu/avjf
  Replies (7) Good night (2188) Bad night (721)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.

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  (248): New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together. http://tfl.nu/5v90
  Replies (9) Good night (1714) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?

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  (319): dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone? http://tfl.nu/6czx
  Replies (6) Good night (1157) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.

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  (402): He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians. http://tfl.nu/6owi
  Replies (9) Good night (706) Bad night (1773) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.

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  (970): He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart. http://tfl.nu/gryu
  Replies (12) Good night (515) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it

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  (780): Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it http://tfl.nu/2d0a
  Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (152) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.

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  (651): We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it. http://tfl.nu/ubme
  Replies (5) Good night (1179) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt

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