woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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