I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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