I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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