9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
is wine microwaveable?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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