My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
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I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize