i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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