So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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