Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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