think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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