there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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