You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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