The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize