Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize