I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize